By My Side

[rinkac]

Title: By My Side
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis - Soooooo AU
Characters/pairing: Sheppard/Lorne
Rating: NC-17
Orientation: Slash
Word Count: 12,712

Notes: This is one of those, “Oops I’m out of control” stories. This started out as a cute little blippy fic to fill a bingo square and then RAWR, as such things usually go around here.

Prompts:For Ancient City Bingo Fill: “Sight Unseen”


“Rodney, I just got a call from Doctor O’Neill. I’m going.”

“Of course you are, John, we need the gene. If you don’t go, we have to take that jarhead Weiss, and you know O’Neill will fight tooth and nail to keep the military out of the Stargate Expedition .”

“Weir.”

“Whatever. How are you going to do it? I mean, this is all so new. Are you even up to this physically?”

John touched his fingers to the bandages over his eyes. He already knew the result… the optical specialist Doctor Landry had told him that the latest surgery had failed. The bandages would be off his face in a few more days. This had been the last chance. And it hadn’t worked. “Doctor Mitchell cleared me, although I have a ton of restrictions.”

“Such as?”

“Limited hours for a while, weird diet, a ton of pills and I’m getting a full time babysitter.”

There was sputtering on the other end of the phone. “A what? You already have an indentured grad student, what do you need a babysitter for?”

“To quote Jack, I will not have the IOA coming down on my head because I lost a professor emeritus from MIT. So, I’m getting a body guard –slash- babysitter. O’Neill wants Stacks back on his project and his stuff wrapped up before the Expedition leaves for Pegasus.” McKay snorted, conveying his opinion of Nate-don’t-call-me-Nathan-Stackhouse.

“Doctor Sheppard, hand up please, I have your medication and a glass of water. And Doctor Lorne is here.”

“Speak of the devil. I gotta go, Rodney.”

“Did your pet astronomer just say Lorne? Since when do you know that biologist?” Rodney managed to make biologist sound like a very dirty word.

With a heavy sigh, John let Stackhouse press the pills into the palm of his hand. “I don’t. Apparently he’s my new babysitter.”

John took great delight in hanging up on Rodney after getting the last word in for once.

“Thanks Stacks. I guess you should bring him in.” John listened to his assistant walk away. He was getting much better at figuring out where the sneaky bastard was most of the time. Pushing away from the table a little, John reached down and scratched at the top of the bandages, trying to get his finger inside to get at the persistent spot.

“Ah, ah, ah, none of that!” A firm hand grasped John’s and pulled it away from the infernal pestilence.

“It itches!” John complained.

“That means it’s healing. You’ve got a serious surgical wound right there, Doctor Sheppard, and an infection now would be… seriously bad.”

“Seriously bad? Is that a scientific term, Doctor Lorne?”

Lorne snorted. “I’m a biologist, not a grammarian.” John heard the dining chair beside him slide across the carpet and the low thud of Lorne sitting down. Apparently, the man didn’t stand on ceremony. Lorne told Stackhouse, “Go on back to your project that is so important that I had to leave off mine at Doctor O’Neill’s insistence.”

It was so much like something Rodney would say that John chuckled. Hearing Stacks’ huff of indignation - a sound frequently expressed by most grad students behind McKay’s back - provoked a full blown laugh, a sound John had not made in the weeks since the accident.

“Right, so now that the boy is gone let’s have a little talk,” Lorne said, settling back in his chair. John could tell the change of position from the creaking noise the old chair made.

“What would you like to talk about? We’re having a drought, so the weather is of no interest. I haven’t seen a game in weeks, so sports are out. And I’ve lost my ability to continue my projects, so I have no work to discuss. So, let’s talk about you, Doctor Lorne, shall we?”

“Call me Evan.”

“Call me John. I don’t need a sitter.”

Lorne sighed. “I don’t want to be a sitter, so we’re even. Listen, we’re stuck with each other, so long as we’re working for O’Neill. Let’s find a happy medium. You’re obviously still adjusting to all this and I’m not here to crowd you or push you. I’ll just do the stuff you’re having a problem with for now, okay?”

He was being reasonable and John wanted to hate him for that, but he couldn’t. He did need the help. “Why’d O’Neill pick you for this gig?”

“I was a second year intern before I dropped out of med school. I have a little experience with home care, and I did some hospice work while I was in school. I was my mom’s primary caregiver until she passed a few years ago.”

“Why did you drop out?”

“By the time Mom was gone, I had lost my taste for medical school, so I moved to the research side of things.”

John understood all about death influencing one’s path, and taking one’s old dreams away with it. For some inexplicable reason he found himself telling Lorne, “I lost my parents when I was in college. Plane crash. I haven’t flown since.” He didn’t mention that he had just passed his commercial pilot’s test a few weeks prior to their deaths and that he had walked away from the career he had always wanted.

“So, how’s your pain level today?” Lorne changed the subject when they both fell silent for a bit.

“Four?”

“So more like…”

“Six, I guess. I hate the pain meds, they make my head fuzzy.”

John heard Lorne shift in the chair again. “We’ll space the doses out a little bit at a time. After you’re settled comfortably for the night, we’ll read a bit. Now, I’m not a physicist like you, but I can read to you, even if I don’t understand all of what I’m reading. Are there any projects you want to catch up on? I can email Doctor McKay and get you the latest reports and journals. My security clearance has been raised to match yours.”

It was one of the rare times since waking in the hospital after the accident hat someone was not treating him with pity and like a helpless thing that did not know his own mind any more. Most of the doctors, except Cam Mitchell, had been like that. Someone had promised him a computer program that would do voice recognition and could read to him, but it had not materialized as yet. The plans for him to possibly get a guide dog had been put on hold indefinitely, as he could not bring the animal on the Expedition. Lorne was the next best thing.

“There was a study being done that involved the power necessity for the Atlantis dial up. I was following that closely. And Doctor Mitchell was doing a feasibility study about artificially creating this ATA gene that has doomed me to a life of servitude as a light switch, I’m hopeful about that project.”

“I’ve been following that as well, I donated blood samples to the study.”

“Me too. I guess we both have the ATA gene.”

He heard the brush of nylon against denim and then a zipper being opened. John guessed it was a laptop case being opened. Moments later, Lorne started tapping on keys, confirming his guess as correct. “Do you trust me to check your email? I can access that if you like.”

“Sure, why not?” If O’Neill had cleared the guy, he must be okay. Jack O’Neill was one of the most paranoid people John knew, one might even call him a hard core conspiracy theorist.

John leaned back against the pillow behind him, pushing at the floor with the toes of his good foot and rocking the wheelchair back and forth a little as he gave Lorne the ID and password. John had to admire the man’s organization skills, he whipped through the hundreds of messages that had to have been piled up in the inbox, showing a knack for picking out the important ones and only plucking a few sentences out of others so that John could determine the stuff he didn’t need to read. Well, to have read to him. The few times Stackhouse had tried to help with this, had been too attentive to the details and read each message all the way through. It was tedious when done that way. By the time they got to the bottom, Lorne had figured out that John wanted to hear the entirety of any of McKay or Cadman’s messages, that Kavanaugh was full of hot air and that Woolsey’s bureaucratic nonsense could be ignored completely - O’Neill got paid the big bucks to deal with that crap.

Apparently, Lorne was a sturdy guy, he was able to haul John in and out of the wheel chair without any trouble, and got him bathed and dressed and into bed with a hell of a lot less fuss than Stacks had ever managed the task.

He had a nice voice too, John realized as Evan read from the novel John had been reading before the accident, which had still been on the nightstand. His voice lulled John to sleep.


~*~


“Doctor Lorne, Doctor Sheppard? I’m Captain Parrish, I’ve been asked by Colonel Weir to escort you through.”

John nodded in the man’s direction and reached up to tug Evan’s sleeve. “I thought we had no military involved on the Atlantis Project? Weir’s here anyway?”

Evan crouched down to talk close to John’s ear. “Just happened this morning. We’ve got a platoon of special services guys assigned to us, at the insistence of the IOA. O’Neill is furious. Parrish there is the second in command. Colonel Weir is their commanding officer.”

“Great.” John clutched the case with his laptop in his lap and listened to the chaos of the departure.

“They’re dialing now,” Evan told him. John was able to hear each of the chevrons engage and lock in place. Then there was a tremendous whoosh of the wormhole forming and the crowd cheered. They were on their way.

Evan waited until most of the group had cleared the Gate Room before pushing John’s wheelchair up the ramp and into the event horizon. When they emerged on the other side, John felt a tingle spread over his body and he released his breath on a sigh. This was good. This was right. He could do this.

~*~


“Uhm, we’ve got a problem,” Evan said as he came over to John.

“What?”

“The quarters the military guys cleared for us to use, the ones we have to share?”

“Yeah?”

“Apparently, Weir doesn’t want us too spread out and this is the only room in the section we’re cleared to use that has room for two people to share. There’s only one bed.”

“Do you snore?”

Lorne laughed. “Not that I know of.”

“Kick in your sleep?”

“Never had a complaint.”

“Nightmares, sleepwalking, bedwetting?”

Laughing, Lorne replied, “Not since I was a kid.”

“Me either, we’ll deal with it.”


~*~



“John? Where are… oh, there you are. How’d you get out here?” Lorne came over to stand beside the lounge chair where John was stretched out, enjoying the sea breeze and the warm sun.

“Stacks stopped by. He and his new friend Markham hauled me out here for some fresh air. I figured you’d put me back eventually.”

“Well, you’ll probably want to come with me. Lieutenant Zelenka and his men found what we think is the main control chair for the city, it matches the one they found in Antarctica.”

Evan bundled John back into his wheelchair and pushed him through the corridors. Along the way, John zoned out, listening to the mild background drone that he had been hearing since coming to Atlantis two weeks before. Doctor Mitchell had checked him over when he mentioned it and none of his tests showed anything wrong with John’s hearing. Since then, it had become a sort of comfort to John, almost like a presence. Not that he was ever alone. If Evan wasn’t with him then flighty Ford the nutritionist was. John much preferred Lorne’s company.

His head dropped back and he left it there. Occasionally, Evan would brush up against him, but John didn’t mind, he was used to Evan touching him.

“You don’t hear it, do you, Evan?”

“The humming noise? A little, but nothing like what you described to Doctor Mitchell.”

John huffed out a breath. “What happened to patient confidentiality?”

“Hello? Primary. Caregiver. Mitchell just wanted me in the loop in case your symptoms got worse. They haven’t gotten worse, have they?”

“No.”

He heard the smile in Lorne’s voice as he replied, “Good. Here we go, coming up on the party now. Put on your company face, Doctor Sheppard and make nice with the other children.”

John turned slightly in Evan’s direction and plastered a fake smile on his face. “Screw you, Lorne,” he said through clenched teeth.

Lorne stopped the chair and leaned very close, John could feel the warmth of Lorne’s breath on his ear. “Maybe when Mitchell takes that cast off and says you can get out of the chair.”

Too stunned to reply, John gulped and tried to focus on the voices around him. Had Doctor Lorne just propositioned him?

“Oh good, you're here John!” Rodney exclaimed as Lorne pushed him into a room. “Now maybe we can see what this thing will do. Lieutenant Beckett here can’t seem to get anything to work right.” Rodney pronounced Lieutenant the way the British did, with a 'left' in it. Beckett must be one of the IOA military assigned to the Expedition.

A man with a Scottish accent protested, “I never claimed any facility with this bloody gene of yours, Doctor McKay!”

“Yeah, yeah. C’mon John, get your butt in the chair,” McKay said.

Evan lifted him up under the armpits and held him until he could get his balance on one leg. “Wait a minute, John don’t move too fast. The chair is to your right, armrest about a foot from your hand, watch your shin, the chair is like a big metal recliner with a protruding foot rest. Lieutenant Beckett, would you switch places with me, please? Don’t let him fall.”

“I won’t.” Beckett answered. Evan’s warm hands left him, and a stranger took hold of his shoulders, keeping him steady. “The chair will recline after you sit in it, Doctor Sheppard,” Beckett said quietly. John nodded in acknowledgement, trying not to be embarrassed about all the help he required for a simple thing like getting in and out of a damned chair.

Hearing Rodney sigh with impatience, John looked his way and snapped, “Give me a friggin’ minute, McKay!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

Evan had moved around and was lifting John’s wounded leg very carefully up. “Ok, you’re clear, you won’t hit anything here. The chair seat is on an angle, catch the edge and let yourself slide back.”

As he climbed onto the chair and wriggled back, Evan arranged his wounded leg. The chair vibrated, hummed and automatically began to recline as Beckett had told him it would do.

For the first time since the accident, John saw light. His field of vision exploded with it. It was overwhelming and he shouted in surprise and then gasped as pain overwhelmed him. He sat upright quickly, breaking the connection with the chair.

“Turn it off, McKay!” Evan shouted. "Talk to me John! McKay, off!"

McKay replied tersely, "I can’t shut it off, I didn’t turn it on, he did!”

“John?!? John?” He heard Evan’s panicked voice as hands clasped the sides of his face. “John, breathe, you’re not breathing. C’mon, buddy, breathe.”

He took a deep breath and then coughed. “Okay. Okay. Just... bright. I’m okay,” John gasped out. His hands flailed until he came in contact with Evan’s forearms, which he grabbed onto and held. One of Evan’s hands moved down to John’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze, as the other remained cupped to one cheek.

“You scared me a little.”

Smirking crookedly, John replied, “Sorry.”

“What happened?” Rodney demanded.

“Overload when I connected, my optic nerves weren’t ready for the stimulation, I guess.”

Evan’s hand left his face and someone else moved up on John’s other side. John’s sunglasses were carefully removed. “Let’s check you over, John. You were supposed to wait for me to get here before you put him in the chair, McKay,” the CMO chastised over John's head. “Still feeling pain?” Mitchell asked John as fingers pried open John’s eyelids.

“No. Hey, I see… are you using a light?”

The light that John had been seeing went away again. “A penlight, yes. You’re seeing it?”

“Not now, I thought I was.” John told the doctor. The light moved back again. “Wait, now I do.”

“Interesting,” Mitchell murmured as he took John’s pulse and then checked his blood pressure. “Well, pulse and blood pressure are okay. I guess you can continue here. We’ll check your eyes again later, John.”

Slowly, John leaned back once more, this time; he expected the flash of light. He clenched his teeth and rode out the discomfort, sensing there was something beyond it. Pinpricks of pain, like a bad case of pins and needles, swept over his body. And then suddenly, he was in, connected, and the pain was gone.

And he knew in that moment that he was home.

He could see. It wasn’t vision like he was used to, but he could see. Perhaps over time, he would get used to this. Layers of diagrams over routes of systems intertwining with energy signatures, he saw it, all of it. “It’s beautiful,” John whispered as he tried to take it all in at once.

“You see something? What do you see, John?” Evan whispered, wiping a thumb across John’s cheek and then touching a cloth to his eyelid. Damn, his eyes were watering.

“Everything. Atlantis. Energy. Light. Color.”

“Sheppard, can you isolate anything?” McKay asked, though his tone was not as demanding as usual.

John tilted his head and said quietly, “Too much. Just show me a little, machine.” He had not expected a response, but overlays began to disappear, the diagrams began to condense. “Show me the power grid,” John said. The images rearranged and he was presented with a clearer diagram. There were three flashing amber lights on the grid. He raised a hand and pointed to one of them. “Focus on that, show me that.”

“Who is he talking to?” Captain Beckett asked from somewhere far off.

Laughing lightly, Evan replied, “The city, maybe?”

Ignoring the conversation around him, John tried to interpret what he was seeing. ‘I wish this was in English’ - and then slowly, the Ancient glyphs began to switch to English. They must have linked some of the Expedition’s computers to the Ancient mainframe. “It responds to thought, like the Gateships!” John exclaimed as he realized what he had just done.

‘Where is this? Show me this, in relation to the Gate Room.’

An overlay appeared and John saw that the amber light was flashing in a room at the base of the tower. “Rodney, there’s a warning light, I think, in a room to the rear of the bottom level of the tower.”

“Crap, the ZPM room?” Rodney called. “Doctor Batson, get a team down to the ZPM room and run a diagnostic. Yeah, yeah, Bates, whatever.”

John asked the city to give him details on another of the lights. “Another one out near the entry to the South Pier, I think that’s what you guys were calling it. And on the third level of the building six over from the tower, the one that’s shaped like a hexagon.”

McKay was on the radio giving orders. “Cadman, head over to the desalinization plant, we might have an issue there, according to the specs Sheppard is pulling up from the city. Yeah, he’s in the chair now. I don’t know how he’s doing it, O’m not going to stop him to ask about it now.”

A hand touched his forehead and strong fingers moved down his cheek and neck. “You in any pain?” Evan asked quietly, leaning close.

“Getting a little head-achy. There’s a lot to process,” John admitted, he could feel his body trembling, and Evan had surely noticed it, the man picked up on everything. He felt Evan’s absence as his friend suddenly straightened up and away from him.

“One more minute, McKay,” Evan snapped. "He's done for today."

“What? No, we’re just getting somewhere.”

John’s wrist was lifted; Mitchell was taking his pulse, John recognized the soft, smooth fingers of the Chief Medical officer. “That’s an order McKay, one minute; he's had enough for today,” Mitchell echoed Lorne.

“Damn. Okay…” Rodney snapped his fingers. “Sheppard, what should my people be looking for when they get there?”

Trying to phrase the question to the city was hard, but John eventually got what looked like a power flow overlay to display for him. The area where the lights flashed showed a dip in the numbers near each. “A power drain, maybe?”

“Up, out, time’s up,” Evan was tugging insistently on John’s arm.

“Okay, okay, coming Mother.”

He pushed up from the chair, feeling a cold jolt as the connection was broken. He shuddered from the sudden lack.

“John? What are you feeling?” Mitchell’s voice was concerned and a hand landed on his back, not Evan’s, John knew Evan’s touch - even through his clothes. It must be Mitchell.

“Absence. There was so much there, and now it’s gone. I was warm and now I’m cold.”

“I want him in the infirmary for a full exam; I want to make sure this gadget didn’t do him any permanent damage. I don’t trust these Ancient gizmos. Lying around for millennia unused, who knows what’s gonna go wrong?” Mitchell grumbled.

Between them, Mitchell and Lorne pulled him from the Atlantis chair and quickly shifted him over to the wheelchair and whisked him off to the infirmary. After an hour of intensive and somewhat invasive testing, Mitchell reluctantly agreed that Sheppard seemed to be unaffected physically by the time he had spent in the Control Chair, and released him.


~*~



Evan waited until they were both showered and settled in bed before asking him anything about what had happened. “What was it like?” Evan whispered.

“It was like I got back a piece of myself that was missing. I finally touched that sound that’s been humming at me, I know what it was now; it was Atlantis trying to talk to me, trying to show me things.”

“It hurt you,” Evan said as his fingers stroked across John’s forehead, touching briefly on his eyelids. “I didn’t like that, it scared me.”

“I’m fine, Evan.”

In the weeks they had been living together, Evan had ceased to be John’s babysitter and had grown to be a good friend. John had learned his sounds, he could tell things about his companion’s moods by his breathing and his tread, the way he threw himself into a chair, the way he dropped utensils or moved objects. It was eerie in some ways.

He had grown used to hearing Evan’s light snores beside him in the bed. He liked how neither of them mentioned how they often woke up with Evan pressed tightly against him, Evan having sought out John’s warmth in the night. It was just there something unspoken between them.

“Hey, earlier, in the hallway… did you mean it, or were you joking?”

In answer, Evan shifted in the bed and leaned over John. Warm breath crossed his cheek and damp lips pressed to his before Evan pulled away. “I wasn’t joking, teasing a little, but I wasn’t joking.”

“Good.” John clasped a hand to the back of Evan’s head and pulled him in for another kiss, this one longer and deeper.

Evan broke off the kissing and pushed away. “Okay, we need to back off a little, or I’m gonna need a cold shower. You aren't up to this yet.”

Disappointed, but knowing Evan was right, John nodded. Evan settled down, deliberately leaving as wide a space between them as he could without falling off the far side of the bed.

In the morning when John woke, Evan’s nose was buried against his neck, one arm thrown over John’s chest and a leg wrapped around John’s uninjured one. Sighed with contentment, John combed his fingers through Evan’s soft hair and dozed until his companion woke up and untangled himself before running to the bathroom.


~*~

“Well he can’t come and play with you today, Doctor Frankenstein, he’s getting the cast off,” Evan said, using the voice he only used when talking to Rodney, a mixture of snottiness, sarcasm and cool politeness that drove Rodney absolutely mad and delighted John to no end.

John was waiting patiently for Mitchell to finish cutting the soft cast away. The heaviest bandages on his upper thigh had been removed weeks ago, the CMO was quite happy with the healing of the surgical wounds. The reconstructive surgery on John’s knee also seemed to be healing well. The remaining cast was for the broken foot and ankle, which had been rebroken in order to get them to heal properly. The prognosis for him regaining full use of the leg was poor; the nerve and muscle damage was extensive, but they had high hopes he’d eventually be able to walk with a crutch or cane.

“If you’re a very good boy, I’ll give you a lolly when we’re done.” Gentle fingers stroked his hand.

“Vala, he’s not a child,” Mitchell said.

“Got a red one?” John asked the nurse, provoking a snort from Mitchell.

Not for the first time, John wondered what Mitchell, Vala and especially Lorne looked like. They were the constants in his life since the accident, and he had never met any of them prior. He felt dizzy suddenly as a wash of colors hit him and he was looking at indistinct silhouettes. “Whoa!”

Mitchell stopped cutting. “Whoa, what whoa, why whoa?”

Evan was at his side, one hand on his shoulder. “What happened, John?”

He felt a little nauseous as things began to blur and move. “I don’t know. I feel sick.” He put both hands over his face. “I’m seeing stuff. I can’t tell if it’s my eyes or in my head.”

“Evan, move aside, let me look. Vala, get me a 20cc injection of the anti-emetic we got from the Yeselin.”

Vala patted John’s arm. “No throwing up while I’m away, handsome.”

“I’ll try,” John had his eyes squeezed tightly shut as Mitchell helped him to lie back on the gurney.

“I’m gonna do an MRI, John, I’m a little worried by this.”

John groaned. “Another one?”

“I trust the equipment I brought with me; I don’t trust these Ancient thingamabobs. Are you in any pain?”

“My head is throbbing and it hurts a little, but it isn’t unbearable.”

Vala’s sneakers squeaked on the floor as she came back, and seconds later John felt the coolness of a prep pad then the pinch of a needle as the injection was given.

“That Yeselin stuff knocks him out,” Evan said, having accompanied John on many of his medical appointments in the past three months.

Chuckling, Mitchell patted John’s arm. “I know. This way he won’t wiggle and squirm during our photo shoot. Don’t fight it Sheppard, go sleepy now.”

“Sometimes I intensely dislike you, Cam Mitchell.”


~*~



When he woke the color and light was gone, everything was black again. “Evan?”

“Hey sleepyhead. How ya doin?”

“Back to normal, I guess. Great black nothing.” He shifted a little and noticed that the weight was different on his lower leg. “Cast gone?’

“Yup. Mitchell switched you to a knee and ankle brace. No walking on it yet, no weight on it at all.”

“Cool. I’m hungry. Am I a prisoner?”

“Nope, you are free to go.” Evan helped him from the bed and into the chair. “See you later Vala!” Evan called cheerily as they wheeled out of the infirmary.

Making conversation on the way to the cafeteria, John asked, “What does Vala look like, is she pretty?”

“Yup. Curvy. Long black hair, she wears it in silly little girl styles, but with her personality she can get away with it. Wide mouth, gorgeous smile, pretty eyes. I’d love to paint her someday; I bet she’d look killer in red.”

That was news to John. “You paint?”

“I do, when I have time. Don’t be jealous, I’d like to paint you too, though in a completely different style.”

“How so?”

Evan pressed his cheek to the side of John’s head and whispered huskily, “You, I want to paint stretched out and relaxed, wearing nothing but a smile.”

A combination of the image and Evan’s warm breath made John shudder. “Maybe someday when the braces are gone.”

Evan's words had John thinking. He could tell from the noise level and passing foot traffic that they were still a distance from the cafeteria. “Evan, stop a second.”

The chair slid to a halt. “What’s up?”

Taking a deep breath, John crooked a finger, beckoning Evan closer. “The scars… are they really bad?” he whispered the question he had been tamping down for months. He trusted Evan to tell him the truth.

Evan moved around in front of him and crouched down. His finger traced lightly near the edge of John’s left eye. “Some spidery scars here, but not horrible, no worse than crow’s feet, really. The plastic surgeon Mitchell called in earned his pay, the facial wounds are barely noticeable. But you’ll be using SPF a hundred for the rest of your life.” Evan laughed lightly and rested a hand on John’s thigh, between the thigh and knee wounds.

“I won’t lie to you; your right leg is a mess. But you didn’t lose it, and that’s the important thing. I talked to some folks at the hospital back on Earth and they said Mitchell was a miracle worker and that any other surgeon would have amputated that leg.”

“Really?” Mitchell had been humble, this was the first John was hearing about how close he had come to losing a limb.

Evan patted his leg gently and stood up as someone came walking down the corridor. “Yup. I’m glad he was on call when the accident happened.”

“Me too,” John whispered.

~*~


Daily Physical Therapy was exhausting. When combined with hours in the chair trying to learn how to use the interface, for the first few weeks on Atlantis, John was a limp rag by the time Evan dumped him in bed each night.

The color headaches started to come more frequently, though they were short in duration. Mitchell couldn’t find a definitive cause, even when he relented and let John be the test subject for the Ancient scanner device that they had found. Impressed with the results of the scans, Mitchell had started using it regularly.

Evan had his own projects to work on as part of the science team, and John had grown comfortable enough to maneuver his way from their room to the infirmary and to the cafeteria and to the physics lab to work with Rodney without needing Evan’s constant tending. He felt much less like an invalid, but he was spending little of his waking time with Evan.

The day his physical therapist let him attempt to stand upright on crutches was a really good day. It was proof of progress for him. The exercises the therapist started him on were geared towards strengthening his upper body so he could start using the crutches instead of the chair.

That night as Evan climbed into bed, John reached out to touch his face. Evan clasped his hand and pulled it to his cheek. “I miss you, Ev.”

“I’m right here, John.”

“More… I want more,” John whispered, leaning closer. Evan closed the gap between them and kissed him, opening his mouth to let John slip his tongue in and taste him.

“Are you sure?” Evan whispered, breaking off the kiss.

“I’m sure. Please, I want you, Evan.”

Evan’s hands smoothed over John’s shoulders. “I don’t want to hu…”

“I won’t break!” John hissed, and slid his hand up to grab the back of Evan’s head and pulled him closer. “Stop treating me like I’m made of glass!”

“I don’t.”

John threaded his hand in Evan’s hair. “You do. Not as much as the others, but you do.”

“I know you’re not glass, John. I just care about you. I don’t want you hurt.”

The words made him go still. “You care about me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Since when?”

“Possibly since I realized you hadn’t given up, despite everything. Maybe when you told off Weir in those emails. Maybe the first morning I woke up wrapped around you and you didn’t pull away.” Evan kissed him softly and then rubbed a thumb over John’s lips. “But I think it was probably when I saw you lecture at the SGC about the technological advancements that could be made if the Atlantis mission went forward. I thought about you a lot after that.”

John stroked his fingers down the back of Evan’s neck. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. It didn’t take much convincing when O’Neill asked if I would help you out. Not that I was stalking you or anything.” Evan’s lips pressed to his cheek, then moved along his jaw. Laughing at Evan’s disclaimer, John tipped his head back and allowed Evan access to his throat, tangling his fingers in the layers of Evan’s hair and holding him in place when he began sucking at a sensitive spot near his ear.

Evan’s hand was moving up under the hem of John’s t-shirt. Since the accident, there had been no lack of physical touching, John was constantly being examined, poked, and prodded by doctors, nurses and his physical therapists, as well as by Evan. But this was different, this was touch with intent. John sighed and rose up off the mattress to press up into the warm hand that was creeping up across his belly.

“This okay?”

John nodded.

“The lights are out, John. I can’t see you nodding. I need words,” Evan had a smile in his voice as he poked at John’s ribs.

That made him smile. “So we’re even here in the dark?”

“Oh, no, I definitely have an advantage; I’ve done this before.’ Evan’s fingers circled one nipple, teasing it to a point and then brushing his palm across it beneath the cotton material.

“What makes you think I haven’t?” John asked with mock indignation and then let out a gasp as Evan’s other hand moved up under his shirt began to fondle the opposite nipple.

Pinching both nipples at the same time, Evan chuckled. “Have you?”

It was John’s turn to chuckle. “Yeah. Do that again.”

“Lift up; I want to take this off.” Evan tugged the t-shirt up and over John’s head and then obliged him with a repeat of the pinch and twist to the nipples that John had liked.

Gasping with pleasure, he’d always had sensitive nipples and loved the attention Evan was now giving them with his tongue and teeth, John pushed at Evan’s shirt. “You too. Off.”

“Everything, or are you shy?”

John snorted. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Well, it isn’t as if I’ve been naked when I’ve been changing your clothes, I mean, you could have a hangup…”

“Shut up and strip, I want to feel skin.”

“Yes, sir.” Evan rolled away and removed his clothes, then helped John slide his boxers off without disturbing his bad leg. Evan settled back beside him, nuzzled at his throat and resumed nipping, licking and kissing as he pressed his hardness against John’s hip. “So… how… far…” Evan whispered between kisses as he moved back up to John’s mouth, “Do you… want to take this?”

Clutching Evan’s shoulders, and digging his fingertips into the muscle there, John replied huskily, “All the way, I’m greedy and horny and I want it all. I’ve wanted this for weeks.”

Evan’s hand drifted down and lightly circled John’s erection, stroking slowly. “What have you wanted to do, John? Talk to me.” He thrust his pelvis, rubbing himself against John’s hip.

“Touch you back, I wanted to touch you. It’s been driving me crazy, having your hands on me during the day, hearing you breathe in the bed next to me and not being able to do anything about it.”

Evan slid down the bed a bit, kissing John’s abdomen as he went, running his hands over John’s torso and belly. “And what else? What else do you want to do?”

“When you read to me, your voice gets me so worked up, I want to bend you over the nearest table and take you. Oh, damn, Evan!” John bucked up off the bed as Evan suddenly shifted and put his mouth over his cock, sucking the tip in and working his tongue over it.

He pulled off, twisting his hand lightly around John’s cock as he said, “Getting me hot. I can’t wait until you’re back on your feet and can do that.” He went back to working John’s cock with his mouth, licking up and down the length and lightly catching the skin between his teeth. Evan, it seemed, was a biter. John liked that, he liked it a lot. He bit too.

As Evan had been sucking on him, John had felt around until he caught his left hand, intertwining their fingers as Evan moved on him. He kept the other hand on Evan’s head, encouraging him in what he was doing. John loved the feel of Evan’s hair between his fingers. Evan sucked the tip one more time and then rolled away. “Be right back.”

John heard him digging through the nightstand. When the mattress dipped again, John heard the tear of a condom packet. He tensed lightly; they hadn’t really figured this part out yet, which of them would be catching. A moment later, Evan was smoothing the condom over John’s cock. “I want to feel you inside me, John.”

“Uhm, okay, I can’t really maneuver…”

“I can work with it. Just relax.” Evan slicked lube over John’s straining erection. Damn, he was hard enough to burst, it was a good thing Evan was moving them along. “Hold your hand out, John.”

He did, and Evan took it, held it and squeezed a dollop of lube onto his fingers. John heard the tube hit the mattress as Evan tossed it aside. Evan shifted around and guided John’s hand to his ass. “Could you?”

“Yeah, you got it.” Slowly, John worked his fingers where they needed to go, slicking and stretching where he wanted to be, trying to be patient as his body was screaming for release. Evan squirmed, panted and moaned out John’s name as John slid his fingers in and out of him.

“Good enough, good enough, I can’t wait,” Evan moved to straddle John, resting one palm on John’s chest as he shimmied down, lining up John’s cock at his entrance. John had one hand on Evan’s hip; the other gripped his shoulder as Evan leaned forward over him. John held his breath, trying not to move, letting Evan set this pace. “I’m not too heavy?” Evan grunted as he shoved back and John’s cock pierced him.

“You’re fine. Just watch your foot; bad knee there.”

“Okay. Damn, it’s been a while.”

“For me too. You feel good, Ev.” John let his hands slide down to Evan’s hips. Evan whimpered a little and John tightened his hands as he went still for a short time before panting out and shoving back suddenly, letting out a cry as he took the rest of John’s length in one go. “Evan!”

“Okay, good. I’m good. Just gimmee a minute to adjust.”

John stroked his chest, his belly, his arms, anything he could reach until Evan began breathe more evenly and then started to move. Fumbling a hand around on the mattress until he found the tube of lubricant, John squirted some into his hand and reached down to work it over his dick as Evan moved up. The extra bit seemed to help; Evan sighed and began to move more easily.

Feeling more comfortable doing so now, John began to buck up to meet Evan, gripping his hips and pulling him down to meet each thrust. “Talk to me Evan, I want to hear you.”

“I wanted this… I wanted that big… cock right guhn… where it is now… I wanted… uhn…” Evan leaned forward and John stretched up to meet him, kissing him passionately.

“Wanted what, Evan? Tell me what you wanted,” John demanded roughly. He now had one hand cupped around the back of Evan’s neck, while the other was on Evan’s cock, working him in time with his own thrusts upwards.

Evan shuddered and leaned back, wrapping one hand around John’s on his cock. Together they stroked him. “I wanted… oh yeah, just like that John… I wanted to go down on my knees and suck you off.”

“I wish you had… told me sooner. We could have… ahhhh… worked something out,” John replied, though it was getting harder to form coherent thoughts. Apparently Evan was in the same state as he had gone mostly non-verbal, with occasional exclamations, invocations or John’s name.

Letting out a guttural cry, Evan came half a minute after John did, shuddering with his release as he collapsed forward on John’s chest. John wrapped his arms around Evan’s back and clung as he rode out the aftershocks of his finish, his cock was still throbbing, quasi firm within Evan’s body.

“Damn,” Evan breathed as he shuddered again. When Evan moved up to kiss him again, it was sweeter, lust waning in the afterglow. “I needed that.”

John let out a laugh and hugged Evan tightly to him. “So did I.”

After a minute, Evan whimpered slightly as John pulled out. Slowly, Evan rolled off the bed to go to the bathroom and bring back washcloths to clean up. When he was done, he settled back beside John, pulled the sheets up over them and snuggled into his favorite position with his nose between John’s chin and collarbone.

Sighing with contentment, John let sleep claim him.

~*~


Waking slowly, John rolled onto his left side and bumped up against Evan. The unexpected touch of warm skin to warm skin along the whole length of his body roused him the rest of the way. He wondered if things were going to be awkward now.

Evan sighed and shifted back, pressing up against John. Damn, this felt good. Awkwardness to come or not, John decided to go with the moment. Pillowing his head on his left arm, he wrapped the right around Evan’s waist and cuddled closer. Not for the first time, he cursed the blindness. He wished he could be lying here watching Evan sleep instead of just feeling and listening to him. He would miss body language cues from Evan as well, how was he going to tell if everything was really still okay between them?

“Stop,” Evan said huskily, dropping his arm to cover the one John had around his waist and clasping John’s hand.

“Stop what?”

“Regrets, recriminations, overanalyzing everything; stop worrying, John, we’re fine.”

How had Evan known?

“I’m psychic,” Evan said and rolled over, pressing John back against the mattress and lying partially on top of him, carefully avoiding his right leg.

“You are not!” John protested as Evan nuzzled against his neck and kissed his collarbone.

Evan chuckled. “No, I’m not. But I was awake for hours running through it all in my head and figured you were doing the same.” Fingers scratched at John’s scalp and he leaned into the touch.

“You’re still okay with this? Burdening yourself with me…”

The warm weight was suddenly gone as Evan pushed himself off John. “Don’t do that, John, don’t… you are not a burden.”

“Blind and stuck in a wheelchair, I can barely take care of myself.”

Evan’s hands were on his face, his thumbs stroking John’s cheeks. “Brilliant, funny, loyal, interesting, sexy, you’re more than just flesh and blood. You’re still healing; it is going to take time. But even if it never got any better than this, I’m fine with it, with you. I care about all of you John, inside and out.”

“And the sex?”

“The sex is a bonus.” Evan kissed him sweetly as the alarm on the table beside the bed sounded. “Meeting in forty five minutes. You need to get up for the toilet yet?”

“I’m good, you go first. Am I supposed to be at the meeting?”

Ruffling John’s hair and rolling off the bed, Evan replied, “Nope, medical, biology, zoology and genetics departments. After physical therapy at eight, your schedule is clear until after lunch, then you’ve got chair duty with McKay for a couple of hours.”

“Will you be done by lunch?”

“Should be, should I come find you?”

John nodded as he sat up sat up, flexing his bad leg and doing the morning stretches the physical therapist had him doing as Evan went into the bathroom. He was done with two sets of reps by the time Evan came to help him to the bathroom. As Evan helped him balance by the toilet, John knew he was blushing. “Okay, now this is a little weird.”

“I’ve been helping you do this for months, John.”

“Yeah, but we weren’t… you know… intimate before.”

Evan pressed a kiss to his temple and squeezed his waist where he was holding him. “Don’t worry about it.”

They’d been showering together since John had gotten the cast off and could get completely wet again, since the shower stall was huge and it saved time in the mornings for both of them. “No time to play in here, you’ll be late for PT.”

“Stop reading my mind, it’s freaking me out a little,” John complained as Evan scrubbed his back. “Shampoo?” He held a hand up and a cool dollop of gel landed in it. He lathered his head and leaned forward to rinse.

“Do my back?” Evan asked, handing him a soapy washcloth. Bracing himself against the wall, John made a ‘turn around’ motion. He used one hand to feel across Evan’s shoulders, following with the other and the soapy cloth.

Evan turned suddenly and pressed against John, kissing him. “Sorry, I needed to do that. I’ll set the alarm a little earlier tomorrow.”

“Yeah, good idea,” John tried not to pout as Evan shut the water off and pressed a towel into John’s hands. Using the wall for support, John dried himself off as best he could. Evan came over and tossed a towel over his head and briskly rubbed him over before drying off the spots John had not been able to reach.

“What do you want to wear today, the comfy trousers or the fitted ones?” Evan asked, supporting John with an arm securely around his waist as he hopped to the bed.

“The comfy ones and the hooded sweatshirt.”

Evan opened drawers and John heard the soft thud of the clothes hitting the bed beside him. He reached over and found a t-shirt, felt for the tag at the neck and pulled the shirt on. The sweatshirt was easy; he pulled that on as well. Evan brushed against his leg as he crouched beside him and requested, “Left foot.” John still hated that he needed Evan to dress him but he simply could not balance with his bad leg and pull on shorts and trousers.

“Where you going to hang out this morning?”

“With Laura.”

With deft fingers, Evan slipped John’s belt through the loops, leaving the buckle for John to do. “Do I need to be jealous of Doctor Cadman?”

John snorted. “No! I think for some bizarre reason she has her sights set on Rodney.”

“What are you working on with her?”

“Rodney’s got her recalibrating stuff and tweaking the interfaces. I’m helping with the city interfaces, getting stuff set up that I’m able to grab from the chair later.”

As usual, Evan walked him to Physical Therapy, but when they got to the door, instead of a slap on the shoulder, Evan kissed his lips quickly before leaving. “Catch ya later.”

~*~


Their days fell into a routine of work, physical therapy, mealtimes, and when they weren’t both exhausted, sex.

Doctor Mitchell didn’t want John spending too much time in the chair because he was nervous about the possible side effects. So John had to move quickly through tasks when he was allowed to sit there and work with the city’s systems.

His mind drifted today as he was trying to make some connections for Cadman’s programs. He started thinking about Evan. ‘I wonder what Evan’s doing?’ A new overlay popped into being, it was grainy, fuzzy and indistinct, but John was certain it was a pickup from the security cameras. They had figured out that the chair interface was bypassing the damages to John’s eyes and feeding directly into his brain. This was the first time he was getting actual video rather than patterns and numbers and words.

Since the chair usually responded to his mental commands, even partially formed ones, he guessed that he was probably watching Evan. But he wanted to be sure. He reached up and tapped his radio. “Sheppard to Lorne.”

“Yeah John? Anything wrong?” John didn’t usually call him on the radio so he’d probably freaked his friend out a little.

“No. This is gonna sound weird, but could you pat the top of your head or touch your nose?”

There was a pause. “Are you guys playing games with the security cameras? Are you recording this to post on the city intraweb later?”

“Something like that.” John smiled as the figure on the overlay cautiously touched a hand to the top of his head. “Thanks Evan.”

“Anytime.” John could hear the smile in his Evan’s voice.

John wondered if the focus could be sharpened at all on the feed. The overlay shimmered and became a little clearer. “Too red. Still blurry,” he muttered.

“What?” Rodney called from across the room.

“Nothing, talking to myself.”

Rodney grunted and resumed his typing.

The image kept changing as John focused his concentration on it and the interface tried to adapt to give him what he wanted. Suddenly, for the first time in six months, John could see. Granted, it was like watching television, but he was seeing it. “Sheppard to Lorne.”

“Still right here. Shall I stand on my head?”

“Take two steps forward and look up a little,” John knew he had a stupid grin on his face and that he was using his newfound power for personal enjoyment, but he didn’t care.

Rodney came over and was standing beside the chair. “What are you doing, Sheppard?”

“Just checking something out.” He was memorizing Evan’s face; blue eyes under expressive arched brows, a slightly crooked nose, and an engaging smile. Somehow John knew that he was seeing Evan’s default expression. “Ev, you’re gorgeous.”

“Huh?” Evan gave the screen a puzzled look, which John also committed to memory. He knew that tone, now he knew the look that went with it.

“I can see you, through the security system.”

A wide, bright smile flashed across Evan’s face revealing dimples, but it quickly dimmed. “John, you need to turn it off and get out of the chair.” Evan looked at his watch and then back at the camera. “You’ve been up there for over two hours. Mitchell said this wasn’t good for you, you could be doing permanent damage to your brain.”

“Just another minute Evan. Smile for me again.”

“I can’t smile; I’m too busy freaking out now. See this? This is my freaking out face!” Evan made a circle of his face with his finger. “I’m coming to get you; I want Doctor Mitchell to check you over. Keep this com line open until I get there.”

John stared until Evan walked away from the camera. “I kinda like it when you’re all forceful, you know.” Beside him, Rodney snorted and stomped away, most likely throwing his hands in the air. Reluctantly, John turned off the security feed. By the time Evan stormed into the chair room, John had finished with Cadman’s program, shut down all his connections and was bringing the chair upright.

Evan’s hands ran over John’s face and down his arms. “Your boyfriend is fine, Lorne, you’re overreacting,” Rodney snapped.

Ignoring Rodney, Evan tugged John out of the Atlantis chair and into his wheelchair. “I’m fine, Ev.”

“Why don’t we all let Doctor Mitchell determine that? You were not supposed to go deeper into the interface without Mitchell being here, Sheppard.” Too happy with the new development with the chair to be properly chastised, John leaned his head back and smiled cheekily at Evan as they went out the door. “Oh stop that. I can’t be annoyed at you when you’re grinning at me like the Cheshire Cat.”

“So don’t be annoyed at me. At least I got to see your face once.”

Evan growled. “It is not worth your health. Bleeding in the brain, Sheppard! Hemorrhaging, brain damage, death; haven’t you been listening to Mitchell at all?” Oh, he was annoyed; Evan only called him Sheppard was he was put out with him.

Sighing loudly, John clasped a hand dramatically over his heart. “Oh Evan, at least now I go to my grave with your face burned into my memory.” He was actually half serious about it, despite his joking manner.

Stopping the wheelchair, Evan circled around and clasped John’s face in his hands, squeezing his cheeks tightly. His voice was a harsh desparate whisper as he said, “Don’t even joke about dying John. Please, not now.”

Sobering, John nodded. “Okay. Sorry, I won’t.” Evan held his face for a moment longer and then let go and moved to resume pushing the wheelchair.

“I did you know.”

“Did what?”

“Die. Three times. They revived me at the scene at Area 51, and then on the Lifeflight chopper and then again on the table at the SGC.”

Evan’s step faltered. “Jeez, John, I had no idea.”

“I’m too stubborn to die yet.”

They had reached the infirmary, and Evan was a bit calmer. At least he didn’t race in hollering for immediate medical attention. As he pushed John through the doors, a calm voice asked, “What’s going on gentlemen?”

“Hi Walter, my babysitter thinks I need an MRI,” John replied with a cheery smile.

Evan gave the wheelchair a mild shake in irritation. “He isn’t taking this at all seriously, Doctor Harriman. He was in the Atlantis chair and went deeper into the interface than he is supposed to.”

“I’ll handle this Walter.”

John’s smile faded as Mitchell’s hand fell on his head and tilted it back. John tried to blink at the intrusion of the bright light, but Mitchell’s thumb was holding his eye open. “What did you do now?”

When John didn’t answer, Evan ratted him out, spilling everything he knew, the words tumbling over each other in his haste to get them out. “Stool pigeon,” John hissed when Evan finally fell silent.

“You actually saw clearly, John?”

“Like watching TV, it was slightly out of focus, but not too bad.”

Mitchell started mumbling about cerebral cortexes and optic nerves and stimulation as he stepped away. His footsteps stopped and he called impatiently. “Well come on!”

“Let me guess, MRI?”

“Actually no, he’s going towards the Ancient scanner,” Evan replied as he gave John a push.

John clapped his hands together. “Oh, fun. I haven’t been scanned in weeks.”

“Shut. Up. You,” Mitchell snapped. As Evan helped John up onto the scanner bed, Mitchell told John, “No sneaky interfacing with my machine.”

“Your machine, why Doctor Mitchell, have you gone and grown attached to a piece of damned alien tech?” John teased.

“This one has its uses. Be quiet, lie still, no ATA bonding shenanigans.”

Evan slid the brace off John’s leg and moved away. Staying as still as he could, John waited as the test was done. When the machine had been still for a while and neither of his friends had come over to him, John called out, “Did the city fry my brain, Cam?”

When Mitchell didn’t answer, John called, “Hey! Where’d you guys go?”

Warm fingers entwined through his. “I’m right here. I think Mitchell went to get Doctors Harriman and Davis to go over the results again.”

There was tension in Evan’s voice and his hand was sweaty in John’s. “Something on the scan?”

“Possibly, I didn’t get a clear look before he ran off with the datapad. Do you feel different?”

“I’ve had a color headache since I severed the connection,” John confessed.

“That was twenty minutes ago, I thought those only lasted two or three minutes?”

He nodded. “Usually.”

“Pain?” Evan ran a hand gently over John’s head.

“Right behind my eyes. That’s different; they haven’t caused me pain like this before, just twinges. This is steady.”

They heard the voices of the doctors coming and Evan gave John’s face a last caress before stepping back.

“There’s definitely something going on, John. The theory we’re working with is that somehow the pathways in your brain are being rewired. The Atlantis interface through the chair is the probable cause.”

“Is this good or bad?” John asked.

Mitchell sighed. “I’m uncertain. If it is helping repair the damage, I don’t want to stop it.”

“I’m concerned that the process might make you dependant on the interface to function, Doctor Sheppard,” added Doctor Davis.

John struggled to sit up, but Evan and Mitchell’s hands gently pressed him back down under the scanner. “Dependant to function in what way? To see? Isn’t that better than what I have now?”

“Sheppard, settle down, I want to repeat the scan,” Mitchell coaxed gently as John tried to sit up again.

Davis spoke again. “What happens when we return to Earth and your connection to the city is severed, Doctor Sheppard?”

“Then I’m blind again. But if I can see while I’m here… I fail to see the downside.”

“With no prior exposure to this type of thing, we have no way of telling where the adaptations will stop, Doctor Sheppard. For now, the interface may be helping you form new optic pathways, but what if it does not stop there? This is unknown alien technology we’re working with, it could consume your body,” Doctor Harriman added his two cents.

The two doctors began to talk at once, but Mitchell shushed them. “Guys, thanks for the consult, I’m going to redo the scan daily and keep an eye on things for now.” The dismissal was evident in the CMO’s tone and the pair walked off without another word.

“I do have some good news,” Mitchell said when they were gone.

“I could use some, Cam,” John replied, trying to keep himself calm and his imagination in check. He rubbed his forehead.

Mitchell touched his foot. “I think it’s time you get out of the chair and start using crutches. The reports from Physical Therapy are all good; you’ve got enough strength in the calf and knee to start holding your weight. Think on that while I run the scan again.”

“Okay.”

Evan’s hand touched his forehead. “Tell Mitchell.”

It wasn’t worth arguing with Lorne. “Cam? I’ve had one of those color headaches for about half an hour. It hurts.”

“Constant pain?”

“Yeah.”

“Sharp or dull?”

John thought about it for a moment. “Dull.”

“Throbbing?”

“No, steady.”

“I think we all agree that it’s connected. These headaches only began after you started accessing the Atlantis chair. I’ll give you something when you leave, if the pain is too much.”

When Mitchell was done and John was allowed to sit up, Evan patted his leg. “You want to try the crutches now, or wait until PT tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow. I just want to go home now.” John leaned more heavily on Evan than usual as Evan helped him into the wheelchair. His head was buzzing and the colors had started to flash and move. He dropped his face into his hands and leaned forward, pressing his thumbs against his temples. He heard Evan talking to Mitchell but stopped paying attention.

Evan pulled one of his hands up and away and tugged on the sleeve of his sweatshirt until he had worked it off. A cool pad was rubbed on his arm and then John felt the pinch of a needle. By the time they got back to their quarters, John was numb all over and the pain was receding.

He didn’t protest as Evan lifted him out of the chair and put him on the bed. “That was the real stuff,” he drawled.

“Yeah, you needed it.”

“Evan?” John called when he moved away from the bed.

The mattress sagged and Evan stretched out beside him. “What if Harriman and Davis are right? The chair was built for Ancients. What if I turn into some freaky science fiction hybrid? Or my brain explodes?”

Evan rubbed soothing circles on John’s back and made a shushing noise. “I think that’s a little extreme. And I think they’re wrong. Trust Doctor Mitchell, he won’t let anything happen to you; he’s your friend.”

John curled against Evan’s side and sighed, slowly relaxing and going limp as Evan hugged him. “Don’t fight the medication, John. You sleep for a while; I’ll worry for both of us.”

The full effects of the medication were hitting him now, and John did as Evan suggested; he stopped struggling to stay conscious and slept.


~*~



“What do you mean you can’t come today?” Rodney demanded over the radio.

“Doctor Mitchell banned me for a week, I’m not allowed to sit in the chair or do light-switch duty.”

Rodney huffed in exasperation. “Well that sucks now, doesn’t it? How am I going to get this stuff done? You’re screwing up my timetable.” McKay fell silent, then almost as an afterthought asked, “Are you sick or something?”

“Your concern for my well being overwhelms me, Rodney. No, I’m not sick. It’s the ‘or something’ that has Mitchell concerned about the chair interface.”

“That quack! Stealing my best resource because he’s a Luddite technophobe! I’ll see about this…” The line went dead before John could stop McKay.

With a sigh, John tapped his radio. “Sheppard to Mitchell.”

“Mitchell, what’s up?”

John gave a low chuckle. “I think you’re going to get that chat with McKay that you wanted, sooner than you planned.”

The doctor laughed. “You told him you couldn’t play with him on my orders and he’s coming to see me?”

“Got it in one.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

Evan came in from the bathroom and walked past John on his way to the closet. “Ev, go back to the bathroom and do that again.”

“What, walk?”

“Yeah.”

Humoring him, Evan did so. “Again,” John demanded.

“What’s going on?”

John smiled. “Shadows. I saw your shadow moving, it was only gray on black, but I saw it.”

~*~


Predictably, Evan made him go to the infirmary for another scan after he saw the shadows. Also predictably, Doctor Mitchell harrumphed and subjected him to another MRI as well as the Ancient scanner. Evan had a meeting, and had to leave after accompanying John as he clumped his way to the infirmary on his crutches.

“There are appreciable differences. Thus far they’re confined to the same area of the brain,” Mitchell said as he came over to stand beside John. “How’s your pain level?”

“Dull ache, but I’m functional.”

Cam shined the penlight in his eyes and John shied back, though Mitchell had clamped a hand on his shoulder and kept him from going too far. “Still seeing the colors?”

“No. All dark, except for a silvery shimmer at the edges.” A shadow passed before John’s eyes. “And moving shadows, like now. You waved your hand, didn’t you, Cam?”

The grip on his shoulder turned into a pat. “Yeah. I’m cautiously optimistic about this, John. I’m curious to see what another session in the Atlantis chair will do, so I’m going to allow you two hours every other day for a week. Do not overdo it. If your pain level increases or something odd happens, I want to know about it immediately.”

“McKay will be thrilled to hear this.”

“I can give you four to six today, how does that work with the rest of your schedule?”

“Nothing I can’t shift around.” He had planned to catch up on some reading. Cadman had finished a transcription program that had taken digitized information and put it through a reader program so that he could listen to his emails and the backlog of scientific journals that Evan simply didn’t have the time to read to him. With Evan, he got inflection and oftentimes discussion, but he had his own duties and couldn’t do the bulk of John’s reading for him.

“I’ll meet you in the Chair Room, do not allow McKay to start without me there.”

~*~


The first thing John did when he tilted the chair back was ask the city to locate Evan. The Bio lab came up on a panel immediately, showing Evan bent over a microscope. His labcoat was a mess, smeared with something purpleish, and there was a stripe of the same stuff across his cheek.

Audio, he requested of the city; just to see what would happen. Aloud he said, “What is that mess all over you?”

Looking down at himself, Evan gave a shrug. After a beat, he looked around and then up for the source of John’s voice. He crossed his arms and smirked up at the security camera in the corner of the room, correctly guessing that the speaker was near it. “SGA-4 brought back a vegetable that the natives claimed had healing properties. They neglected to mention that the damn things explode when you cut into them.”

“Messy.”

“Very. So, I assume Mitchell cleared you to be cavorting with the city again, and that he’s watching over you now?”

“Affirmative.”

“And you’re being a sneaky peeping Tom and trying not to let Mitchell or McKay know what you’re really doing?”

“Affirmative,” John replied.

Evan waved at the camera. “Go do some real work for a little while.” John may have waited for Evan to turn around to walk back to his microscope before closing down the connection.

John spent the rest of the two hours going down the giant to-do list Rodney had been making for him to work on when he came back.

He only peeked in on Evan twice.

~*~


“You’re getting quicker with the single crutch,” Lorne observed as they were walking back to their quarters after dining in the cafeteria. It was a few days after John had been cleared by Mitchell to start working in the chair every day again, after finding no negative changes on any of the brain scans.

“Practice. Look, I can keep my foot down now,” John leaned his crutch against the wall and demonstrated as Evan swiped a hand over the control for the transporter.

Evan seemed distracted as he replied, “You can, but are you supposed to?”

“Yup. New exercise from the therapist. What’s taking so long?” The transporter door should have swished open by now.

“I don’t know, the elevator isn’t working, no lights on the panel. Hey, try your magic fingers, the city likes you better. Maybe it’ll work for you.” Evan reached for his hand as soon as John got the crutch back in place and guided it to the panel beside the door.

Humoring Evan, John said out loud, “Hey Atlantis, what’s holding up the damn elevator?” The unexpected visual blast he got in response knocked him backwards. His crutch went flying and he hit the floor hard.

Evan was at his side in an instant, arms going under him to help him sit up. “Are you okay, did you hurt yourself?”

“Just my butt,” he rubbed at a spot where there had to be a bruise forming.

Evan was running his hands over John’s knee and down to his foot, checking for injuries. “Did you get shocked? What happened?”

Waving in the direction of the transporter, he chuckled. “I’m fine, really, stop fussing. There’s a short in the system. Atlantis decided to show me where, without the buffer the chair usually provides.”

“What?” Evan’s hands went still. “How?”

“It was almost like being in the chair; I saw the schematics and overlays of the transporter system.”

“You got that through the control panel? If you were in the chair, what would you do with that information?” Evan moved away and came back to press the crutch into John’s hand. Then he hauled John to his feet.

“I’d either tell Rodney about it, or if I saw a workaround or a way for the city to fix it, I’d divert resources and do the repair from the chair. Hhmm, I wonder? Where’s the panel?” He swung his hand out in front of him trying to find the wall. A firm hand caught his and guided him to it. This time, Evan braced himself firmly up against John’s back before pressing John’s palm to the panel.

’Atlantis go slowly, show me where the damage to the transporter system is.’ John told the city. The images came at a more reasonable pace this time. He pulled his hand back and tapped his radio. “Sheppard to McKay. Rodney, what is Doctor Siler’s team doing?” John knew what Bates and Cadman’s teams were up to, and Rodney wasn’t working with the power systems today. That left Siler as the culprit.

“What? Siler? Something with the electrical system near the infirmary, they’re trying to get some kind of voodoo machinery online for Doctor Davis.”

“Well, they’ve knocked the whole transporter system offline,” John huffed in annoyance. “Tell them to undo what they did.”

McKay’s tone was almost accusatory. “How do you know that Sheppard?”

“The city snitched. Make them fix it. Sheppard out.”

Evan squeezed him tight around the waist and leaned close to his ear, “I love when you’re assertive like that.”

“Do you now?”

“Yeah, I do. It’s a long walk home, why don’t we find someplace private and wait for them to fix whatever they did? If you’re feeling up to it.” Evan was nibbling on his ear and rubbing a firmer part of his anatomy in a very suggestive manner against John’s backside.

Turning his head, John caught Evan’s mouth in a kiss, sucking on his lower lip before releasing him and replying huskily, “I think we’re both up for it. There’s a supply closet one corridor over.”

“And how do you know that?”

“The city told me,” John and Evan said in unison and started laughing.

They found the supply closet and Evan pushed John up against the wall and started undoing his belt. He slipped his hands inside John’s pants and squeezed his swollen cock tightly. Sliding his hand s up Evan’s arms to his shoulders, John then clasped Evan’s face and pulled him close for a wet and sloppy kiss. He tangled his fingers in Evan’s hair, digging his fingertips into his scalp.

Evan slowly slid down John’s front. When John started to pull his hands back, Evan caught them and put them back where they had been, apparently wanting to be held in place this time. John obliged him, holding Evan steady as he lightly thrust forward as Evan sucked him.

He gasped and shook as he climaxed, yanking on Evan’s hair. “C’mere.” He tugged until Evan stood up and then released one hand, moving down to Evan’s unfastened jeans and taking his lover in hand. He twisted and tugged the way he knew Evan liked. Evan gasped and fell against him, his hands on John’s hips as he thrust into John’s hand.

“You’re so close, aren’t you? Come for me, Ev.” Evan sobbed out John’s name as he spurted into his hand.

They clung together, breathing heavily. “We’re a mess,” John whispered finally as reality started to set back in.

“Gimmee… another… minute,” Evan begged, hugging John tighter. He let go and bent down. John heard paper tearing and Evan lifted his hand and wiped it off. “Wet wipes from corn on the cob night.”

“You’ve been carrying wet wipes around in your pocket?”

Evan kissed the tip of his nose. “I’ve been waiting to drag you into a closet and ravish you.”

“You’re one of a kind, Lorne. Come here.” John pulled him in for another kiss.

~*~


Cadman and Bates were arguing again. John rubbed his forehead and waited for one of them to take a breath so he could interject. When Cadman started talking about the power relays to the Gate, John saw a diagnostic screen. He lazily scanned over it. When Bates argued that the feed to the shielding was inadequate, another screen popped up. John wondered about the draw from the ZPM and a diagnostic began to run in yet another screen.

The room fell silent around him.

“Doctor Sheppard, are you doing that?” Doctor Bates asked.

“Huh?”

“The display screens that are floating all over the room, do you have something to do with it?”

“Can you see them? Cool.” ’Atlantis, show me the physics lab.’ John thought and suddenly he could see the entire room, including himself.

Leaning heavily on his cane, he stood up and limped over to the screen with the Gate power relays. He pointed. “Right here is what Laura is talking about. Now, if you look here on the ZPM feed you can see how this will affect…”

~*~


John lounged on the sofa, waiting impatiently for Evan to get home. He’d gone on a mission with SGA-3 and had been gone for four days and nights. When the door opened, John called, “You’re late!”

“I was helping analyze the… what are you smirking about?”

“Didn’t you stop to shower?” He stood up and limped over to Evan. He could walk short distances now without the cane. He pulled a wet wipe from his pocket and tore open the wrapper with his teeth. He tugged it out, unfolded it and wiped at a streak of dirt on Evan’s cheek with the wet towelette.

Evan’s eyes were wide as he stared at John. “You can see.”

“I can see.”

“Did you install cameras in here?”

“Nope.”

Evan looked around the room. “Did you turn the room into a holodeck?”

“You watch too much Star Trek. Besides, if I had, we’d have a band, a bar a big screen TV and more comfortable furniture.”

Touching a hand to John’s cheek Evan tilted his head and peered closely at him. “Your eyes are the same, but a little different. You’re seeing through your eyes?”

“Everything suddenly snapped in two days ago when I was working in the lab with McKay. Mitchell is completely stumped.” John leaned forward and kissed him.

“You can walk again and now you can see again,” Evan frowned as he took a step back and whispered, “You don’t really need me anymore... I guess I should find my own quarters.”

John grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him again. “I still need you, idiot. Just not the way I did before.”

Evan smiled. “Yeah?’

“Oh yeah. So, no talk about moving out - unless you’re tired of me and want to leave?”

“Never. I don’t want to.” Evan wrapped his arms around John’s neck and pressed closer as John’s hands fell to his hips.

John smiled and pressed his forehead to Evan’s. “Good. Then that’s settled. No one is going anywhere. We’re in this together.”


The End



Notes: Also for AU Bingo Fill: "Scientists"